Final version (kind of)

cue cards

Midget. Munchkin. Fun sized, smurf, reverse giraffe, pip-squeak, and the list goes on. Some people think that these belittling comments will just go right over our heads, but I am here to call attention to the fact that yes, I am short. I know I am short and I don’t need my head to be used as an armrest to prove that fact. However, there are actually some major benefits to being short that many people don’t realise and in fact, I am learning how to take these patronising comments as compliments, because in reality, being short is way better than being tall. I mean, there must a reason why they say “appreciate the small things in life”, right?  

Generally speaking, the shorter you are, the smaller your clothes are. So technically, short people can fit more clothes in the washing machine with each load. This means we do less washing overall, and therefore save water and save money on bills, meaning that not only is being short more environmentally friendly but also less expensive. Another point to back this up is that if you have smaller clothes in the first place, then less material is used up in the making of said clothes. Sadly, we don’t get any short-people discounts for using less material, but at least we have the knowledge that we are saving the pandas by taking up less fabric and production time than tall people. I mean, we literally have a smaller footprint!

The thing with being short is that in many problematic situations, there are often ways to accommodate for the short person, but not the tall one. For example, you can always hem pants that are too long, but it’s not as easy to add extra fabric onto pants that are too short. I remember once at a basketball tournament, we went back to the motel and all of my friends were complaining about how the showerhead was too low down and they all had to crouch to wash their hair. Well, I certainly didn’t have that problem, it was the perfect height for me and my shortness. And speaking of basketball, short people are often underestimated when it comes to “tall people” sports, but this means they are pleasantly surprised when you’re just average at certain sports instead of shockingly awful. Guys, if you’re short, embrace your height. Statistically speaking, it’s a sad fact but there are many superficial girls out there that will look right past you if you’re below average height. Because of this, it means that when you get into a relationship it will be with a girl (or guy) that loves you for you and not just for your looks. This means that you short guys will likely be in happier, long-lasting relationships than your tall friends. I mean, what could possibly be bad about that?
Although we shorties can’t outrun you in sprints, we could possibly outrun you in life. Did you know that on average, every extra inch of height takes around 1.2 years off a person’s life expectancy! There are many reasons for this unfortunate fact. For example, short people are less likely to bang their heads on a door frame and get a concussion, which could lead to brain damage. Another point is that the shorter you are, the less likely you are to be decapitated by a helicopter.  

 

Short people are also less accident prone than tall people. A higher centre of gravity means balancing is more difficult, so short people are less likely to fall off bikes, less likely to fall over in general, and less likely to get injured after falling because of course, the shorter you are, the shorter the fall. See, when you think about it, there are many reasons why us midgets are expected to live longer than taller people.

 

 

Okay, but seriously, there are actually thousands of scientific studies worldwide have proven that if your body itself isn’t long, then statistically your life will be. The hormone that controls height, called the Insulin-like Growth Factor or IGF, is also the hormone that controls ageing. Many short people have deficiencies in IGF, but this suggests that they also age slower than their taller counterparts who have excess of IGF and age more quickly. It has also been proven that taller people are at a higher risk of cancer. A recent study conducted by the Karolinska Institute in Sweden involved 5.5 million people, and they found that those who were above average height were up to 30% more likely to get skin cancer than their shorter peers. The study also found that for every 10cm added on to your height, the risk of other cancers increased by 11% for men and 18% for women. I’m sorry to tell you this, tall people, because there is nothing any of us can do to change our heights. What I’m saying is, you might want to enjoy being tall while it lasts, because it’s likely that we shorties are going to out-live you eventually.
 

Weaving in and out of dense crowds with ease and enjoying your ample leg room on planes or in cars are luxuries that only the vertically challenged, or in this case the vertically gifted, get to enjoy. We have a smaller impact on the environment and we are likely to live longer. The benefits of being short are numerous, but in reality, height really is just another perspective. When I hang around preschoolers, I’m tall, right? However, I am currently one of the shortest people in this room.

 

 

 

So although it may seem like it sometimes, there is actually not much of a difference between us all. Even though it is clear that being short is much better than being tall, it really doesn’t matter in the end, because it’s how you use your height (or lack thereof) that’s important. And as they say, you’ve really got to hand it to short people, because we usually can’t reach it anyway.

 

 

 

Draft

Midget. Munchkin. Fun sized, smurf, reverse giraffe, pip-squeak, and the list goes on. Some people think that these belittling comments will just go right over our heads, but I am here to call attention to the fact that yes, I am short. I know I am short and I don’t need my head to be used as an armrest to prove that fact. However, I’m proud of it, because there actually are some major benefits to being short that many people don’t realise. For example, short people are actually more environmentally friendly, and we shorties always have more leg room in public transport. It is also scientifically proven that every extra inch of height takes around 1.2 years off a person’s life expectancy, so although we can’t outrun you in sprints we could possibly outrun you in life. Now, I’m not going to use this time to try to shut down tall people, because trust me, you’re awesome too. You always give us the best spot at concerts so we can see, but unfortunately for you it means we are the ones with the best seats in the house. The thing is, I am learning how to take these patronising comments as compliments, because in reality, being short is actually way better than being tall. I mean, there must a reason why they say “appreciate the small things in life”, right?

Generally speaking, the shorter you are, the smaller your clothes are. So technically, short people can fit more clothes in the washing machine with each load. This means we do less washing overall, and therefore save money on bills, meaning that not only is being short more environmentally friendly but also less expensive. Another point to back this up is that if you have smaller clothes in the first place, then less material is used up in the making of said clothes. Sadly, we don’t get any short-people discounts for using less material, but at least we have the knowledge that we are saving the pandas by using up less fabric and production time than tall people. I mean, we literally have a smaller carbon footprint! 

Guys, if you’re short, embrace your height. Statistically speaking, it’s a sad fact but there are many superficial girls out there that will look right past you if you’re below average height. Because of this, it means that when you get into a relationship it will be with a girl (or guy) that loves you for you and not just for your looks, and this means,you short guys will statistically be in happier, long-lasting relationships than your taller friends. I mean, what could possibly be bad about that?

Short people are proven to have a longer life expectancy than those who are above average height, with on average 1.2 years being chopped of your life expectancy for every extra inch of height you have. There are many reasons for this. For example, short people are less likely to bang their heads on a door frame and get a concussion, which could lead to brain damage. Another point is that the shorter you are, the less likely you are to be decapitated by a helicopter. Short people are also less accident prone than tall people. A higher centre of gravity means balancing is harder, so short people are less likely to fall off bikes, less likely to fall over in general, and less likely to get injured while falling because of course, the shorter you are, the shorter the fall. See, when you think about it, there are many reasons why us short people have a longer life expectancy than taller people. 

Okay, but seriously, there are actually thousands of scientific studies worldwide have proven that if your body itself isn’t long, then statistically your life will be. The hormone that controls height, called the Insulin-like Growth Factor or IGF, is also the hormone that controls ageing. Many short people have deficiencies in IGF, but this suggests that they also age slower than their taller counterparts which have excess of IGF and age more quickly. It has also been proven that taller people are at a higher risk of cancer. A recent study conducted by the Karolinska institute in Sweden involved 5.5 million people and they found some shocking results. Those in the study who were above average height were up to 30% more likely to get skin cancer than their shorter friends. This study also found that for every 10cm added on to your height, the risk of other cancers increased by 11% for men and 18% for women. I’m sorry to tell you this, tall people, because there is nothing any of us can do to change our heights. What I’m saying is, you might want to enjoy being tall while it lasts, because it’s likely that we shorties are gonna out-live you eventually.

Weaving in and out of dense crowds with ease and enjoying your non-cramped seating on a plane or bus are luxuries that only the vertically challenged, or in this case the vertically gifted, get to enjoy. We have a smaller impact on the environment and are generally going to live longer because of various reasons. But in reality, height really is just another perspective. When I hang around pre-schoolers, I’m tall, right? So there really is not that much of a difference between us all. So even though it is clear that being short is much better than being tall, it really doesn’t matter in the end, because the important part is how you use your height (or lack thereof). And as they say, you’re really got to hand it to short people, because we usually can’t reach it anyway. 🙂

 

 

Other stuff

{Now girls, if you decide that for once you would like to experience the tall side of life, it’s simple: you can put on some heels. You can see what it’s like to be tall while still enjoying the many benefits of being short. This isn’t to say that tall people can’t wear heels, which of course you can, its just that short people have the ability to be tall if they want to, whereas unfortunately tall people can’t shrink themselves for a day or two. However, the good things about being short aren’t all just for girls either.}

{Now, being short is usually a genetic trait. My great-grandma, all 5 feet tall of her, was fiery, passionate and had a great sense of humour. I never knew her, but my dad would always tell me stories about how she put tomato sauce on his ice-cream as a punishment or sewed his bed sheets together as an April Fools joke. How is this relevant? Well, dad also tells me of a conversation they often used to have.

Dad: “Don’t worry, Grandma. Good things come in small parcels.”

His Grandma: “So does poison.”

Short people are often underestimated, and this means people are pleasantly surprised when you’re average at basketball instead of shockingly awful. It’s like if you’re small you’re not expected to have a large personality, which of course is false, but it means that…}

  • Technically there’s less of you, so less likely to get sick/cancer (supposedly). Same with being hit by a car.
  • Less surface area means less likely to get sunburnt and sunstroke.
  • Because you’re less likely to get hired, it means you’re less likely to encounter stressful situations.
  • Dad: “good things come in small packages” His grandma: “so does poison”.
  • People are surprised when you have a big personality
  • People have lower expectations with sport because they expect you to be bad, so when you’re good they notice it more
  • Always have leg room on planes and in squished cars.
  • For guys – If you’re short, most of the superficial girls will look past you. Therefore, when you get into a relationship, it will be with a girl who loves you for you and therefore you are more likely to be in a happy relationship.
  • There’s less of you, so when you lose weight it’s more noticeable // muscle gain
  • You get really skilled at making creative outfits because clothes never fit you.. looking through kids section etc
  • People are surprised at how light you are (well duh im 5″2)
  • You can weave in and out of crowds in places
  • You can never see at concerts. Some would say this is a bad thing, but it means your taller friends will usually give up their spots so you can see better, so you always get the best seat in the house.
  • Online shopping will NEVER work for you, and therefore, you would know it won’t work so you wouldn’t buy online. This prevents you from having unexpectedly bad deliveries and it also means you will save money better, because you will buy in a store rather than binge buying online.
  • Theoretically, you would eat less food and therefore spend less money!
  • Same with washing, you can fit more clothes in the washing machine, so you’re more environmentally friendly. Requires more energy.
  • You literally have a smaller footprint
  • ANALOGIES. e.g sports car and truck.
  • Front and centre in school photos
  • Now, being short is usually a genetic trait. My great-grandma, all 5 feet tall of her, was fiery, passionate and had a great sense of humour. I never knew her, but my dad would always tell me stories about how she put tomato sauce on his ice-cream as a punishment or sewed his bed sheets together as an April Fools joke. How is this relevant? Well, dad also tells me of a conversation they often used to have.
    • Dad: “Don’t worry, grandma. Good things come in small packages.”
    • His Grandma: “So does poison”

Elements of persuasive speaking:

  1. Anecdote
  2. Evidence
  3. Analogy
  4. Logical fallacies
  5. Rhetorical language

Anecdote: a story from your life that illustrates the point you are trying to make. Story, not factual

Evidence: some basis or fact of some kind, even if the facts are twisted to make your point. Stats, quotes etc

Analogy: you’re comparing one thing to another unrelated thing. e.g the snowball effect, everyone knows it “If I let people on their phones it will snowball”. However, the best analogies are ones that you think up yourself.

Rhetorical:

a) the “rule of three” e.g repeat it three times, use three pieces of evidence. This is to grab your audiences attention again.

b) Deliberate use of pronouns: you, we, they. “we would never think anything other than”. or to do the opposite “some people think this is the case, and of course they would”. This creates the idea they are separate from speaker and audience, proving your point to audience.

c) questions: a question where the answer is assumed – the audience already knows what the answer is supposed to be. The question contains the assumption. The question contains the answer.

Logical fallacies: research ’em

https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/ 

 

 

Respond now!

Category

Writing